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112 versus 242
The first number is the number of times I have had to explain to my wife that men do not find Julianne Moore as attractive as other women find her. The second is, the number of times I’ve had the same conversation about Diane Lane.
(I think that Jessica –my wife– could hear that I lost my job, or wrecked the car, easier than the Diane Lane line; she still refuses to believe it)
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| posted in
Blog 01/23/2010 08:01 pm
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I hope every one enjoyed the holidays. I’m finally back in Chicago and should start posting regular updates to the website again. I’m also in some cool shows this week:
Tonight:
PBR Presents, “Please Enjoy Yourself”
Underground Lounge, 8 PM
Saturday:
Red Bar Comedy Club- Opening Night
Inside Ontourage Nightclub, 8 PM, $10
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| posted in
Blog 01/11/2010 11:51 am
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I’m auditioning for “Joe Piscopo After Dark”, at TV variety show that will be shopped to
networks. The auditions are a live comedy show, open to the public and at a fun venue, The
Joynt, with Joe Piscopo. Stop by if you have no plans:
Some discounted tickets still available via my website at this URL,
http://jokesatthejoyntseanflannery.eventbrite.com/
(this Tuesday, 12/29/2009, at 9:30 PM. The Joynt is at 650 North Dearborn) |
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| posted in
Blog 12/27/2009 03:52 pm
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“are you on twitter?”
me: “no”
“you need to be- for your career.”
That is the advice every one (audience members, industry, other comics) give
me after a show. So, I’m finally breaking down –if just to end this conversation– and
joining twitter:
http://twitter.com/sean_m_flannery
We’ll see how it goes.
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The VLR is back to it’s normal schedule (Monday and Friday, 3 PM CST) after some re-juggling by our radio station. Please tune-in today at fearlessradio.com while we recap the last two weeks of chaotic sports news.
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| posted in
Blog 12/14/2009 11:05 am
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Here are the details on the special Lodge show I’m in tonight. It should be fun. I have
some multimedia things planned that will, hopefully, be interesting. Stop by if you’re
looking for a night out:
http://www.thelincolnlodge.com/home.html
(the short of it is: 9 PM, 4008 N Lincoln Ave, $10)
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| posted in
Blog 12/10/2009 02:14 am
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(Yesterday, driving to get a new TV)
Jessica: ”we also need to get those child safety belts for the new TV- to secure it”
Me: ”yeah, but we have plenty of time before we need that.”
Jessica: ”what are you talking about?”
Me: ”the baby isn’t due until June 1st”
Jessica: ”Sean, we have a kid. Right now”
I totally forgot we have a one year old .
(In my defense: we were talking about the new baby for the previous fifty minutes, and it was hard to exit from that
mindset).
Jessica’s response (later that night): “I mean, come on- how can you forget some thing this
cute”:
Background Info: it looks like we are dressing our kid as a
laughably-fat karate instructor in this photo, but, in truth, it is Colin’s doing. He saw me
waking up, wearing a headband (because I have to wear a sleep apnea mask to bed…
…which is a whole different, long story). So, later that night when he was told he would have
to go to bed soon- he ran into our room and put on a headband. I suppose he thought: all men
wear headbands to bed.
I told him the truth: that only myself, Wilt Chamberlain, Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones and
most pirates, wear headbands to bed. The rest of people (who I may have called “frightened lemmings”), “go to
bed with no headband, Colin”.
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| posted in
Blog 12/08/2009 12:29 am
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For those of you who don’t know (if I haven’t seen you, or you don’t listen to the radio show): Jessica is pregnant.
We will probably learn the sex of this one. We have an ultrasound scheduled, but it is too early
to determine the sex. “Unless”, as my buddy Daryl said, “he has an absolutely enormous wang”.
I would say, as a new father, that has been what surprised me most about parenting:
how worried (or proud
or fascinated) most young dads are with the size of their kid’s penis. Perhaps it’s just the meat-heads and drunks
I know, but, my buddies will update you on the size of their kid’s dick before
they tell you his hair color. Every new father toast I have seen –when given at a bar
around other men– contains some boast or joke about the baby’s penis. It is inevitable- usually
mentioned before they even share the kid’s full name.
I once called a friend –let’s call him Vince– a few minutes after his second kid was born:
Me: “How is every one doing?”
Vince: “Great- he’s got a huge dick”
Me (now laughing loudly) : “Did you ask if his nervous system works?”
Vince (sensing that I am laughing at him) : “I’m serious, dude.”
”The doctor said so himself: ‘Like a Pornstar’”
At this point, I did not (yet) have a kid, but, I think, I understood enough about
doctors, to know: no doctor will tell you –ten minutes into life– that your kid is
‘hung like a pornstar’, unless you are asking him repeated and highly-specific
questions about your kid’s penis. Clearly, if the doctor did say that, it was just
to get Vince out of the room, probably after ten minutes of constant penis questions, so
they could finally begin the truly important tests, like ‘is this baby blind?’.
We continued talking for several minutes. Before leaving, I asked how his other kid was
doing: “oh, perfect- doc says he’s hung like a horse too”.
I’d like to think that my initial hunch –that Vince is just anxious about the size of
his kids’ penis and is pestering the doctor about it– is wrong. And that, instead, Vince
truly is seeing the world’s worst doctor: an absolute meat head, who only cares about the
size of penises and breasts.
I’d like to think that Vince is having his kids delivered by a dentist, from his old
fraternity A beer-drinking, John-Mayer-loving, women-hounding meat head,
with no real medical degree:
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| posted in
Blog 12/05/2009 03:23 pm
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I upgraded the web server that runs WorldsDumbestMan.com . Please let me know if you have any problems viewing the new site. It shouldn’t look or act different (or any funnier).
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| posted in
Blog 12/05/2009 03:19 pm
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If you’re staying in Chicago for Thanksgiving, I’m featuring at Zanies all week. Shows are,
- Tues- 8:30 PM
- Wed- 8:30 PM
- Fri- 8:30 and 10:30 PM
- Sat- 7:00, 9:00 and 11:15 PM
- Sun- 8:30 PM
1548 N Wells St
Chicago, IL 60610-1308
(312) 337-4027
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| posted in
Blog 11/22/2009 08:32 pm
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 | WorldsDumbestMan.com is updated each week with a
new clip or joke. If you enjoy the site, please join the countless ('countless' = likely higher
then 10) people currently
enrolled in the weekly joke program by subscribing to the mailing list.
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