1. gravity pulls things down?!
2. if we built every thing following regulations we’d all still be living in caves!
3. I have no idea what that pipe does- cut it in half.
4. I learned to operate a crane because nobody would hire me to drive cars.
5. you wanted that above ground?!?
6. wait a minute, is a foot one apostrophe or two?
7. who says duct tape can’t hold an elevator together?!
8. that price sounds too reasonable- double it!
9. we could probably save thousands of hours if we stopped measuring stuff so often.
10. you wanted it finished by which millennium?!?

I wrote this list for a now defunct Chicago magazine that wanted “Top Ten” jokes. Millennium Park was years late and millions of dollars over budget… (the magazine thought my list was too “mean” and didn’t print it).

Leave a Comment