1. you eat 82 burritos a day, but can still run a one minute mile
2. tridents are the most common birthday gift you receive
3. every one assumes you know what hay tastes like
4. you have hoofs
5. waiters always seat you in a booth
6. your answer is considered final on all disputes about the Middle Ages.
7. unicorns are the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen
8. employers ask for your age, “in human years”
9. your doctor has no idea how many elbows you have
10. everyone asks you to “gallop” rather then “walk”

I wrote this for list a now defunct Chicago magazine that wanted “Top Ten” jokes. They found this joke too weird and didn’t print it.

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