Former Vice Presidential candidate James Stockdale died yesterday, 13 years after his floundering debate with Dan Qualye and Al Gore. Stockdale was one of the most decorated officials in Naval history, spending nine years in a Vietnamese prison, including four in solitary confinement…. My praise for Stockdale is highlighted by this clip of Bush, if you care to listen before reading.

I always admired Stockdale because he made a confession during the ’92 debates that I’ve never seen in politics: he admitted to not knowing the answer. Most people probably remember Stockdale for randomly yelling “gridlock” and answering questions like a retiree at Starbucks: awkwardly loud, visibly confused and ready to punch the nearest young guy. But, I cherished his, “I’m out of ammunition” response to a question- the most honest moment I’ve seen in politics. Presidential analysts, however, lampooned the response since anything –they reasoned– would be better then revealing you have no idea. Of course, they had never met a candidate who thinks on his feet like George Bush and might now consider silence to actually be the best response if you plan to counter with words like “misunderestimate” or “embetterment”.

So, to every one who criticized Stockdale for having no response, I submit this clip of George Bush attempting to answer a question on Native American tribal sovereignty. After hearing that clip, you will no longer believe that “I don’t know” is the worst possible reply. The worst possible reply, it turns out, is to keep repeating the same word –like a faulty robot– over and over, until the reporter feels awkward enough to end the interview. If “sovereign” could be used as an adverb, that response would have lasted another ten minutes. If I were advising Bush, I would offer this simple advice: “never touch a question that sounds like some thing Quayle couldn’t have answered or that ends in a four syllable word; and, if the audience starts laughing at your best answer, stop talking, have the question repeated and then say Churchill or some one famous all ready answered it best… …oh, and that rodeo star from ’8 seconds’ is not famous”

Wedding on Everest

Two Nepalese climbers recently became the first couple to ever marry on top of Mount Everest. The couple had not previously revealed any plans, surprising all friends and family members with the marriage. The marriage was also considered atypical since the couple belong to separate castes, in a strict society with weddings that are normally arranged by parents.

Stop me if you’ve heard this crazy, Vegas-like story before: you leave for a weekend with the guys, get to an altitude with 77% percent less oxygen then your brain needs, start hallucinating and –the next thing you know– an inter-racial marriage to a total stranger sounds like a great idea. Everest is so high the human brain starts to swell from lack of oxygen and is physically incapable of normal decision making- some times even causing climbers to hallucinate wildly. This couple basically re-enacted the pilot to “Dharma and Greg” at 30,000 feet, with a one in six chance of dying. Eloping to the highest point on Earth for your wedding is only romantic if you’re still cool with the marriage once you reach the ground. Hopefully this couple enjoys a lifetime of happiness together, but if your wedding announcement contains the words, “severe oxygen shortage”, “hallucinogens” or “thought we were going to die”, you might want to consider cheap rings.

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