Phonenix, AZ: Joe Stalnaker was saved today when his dog, Buddy, called 911 after Stalnaker collapsed during a seizure (full story). I hear these stories about once a year- some lucky idiot makes it into News of the Weird because “Merlin did exactly what I trained him to do and dialed 911″. I always laugh at the stories because pet-calling 911 is probably like everything else in life, meaning it does not work 90% of the time. Thus, for every one of these successes, there must be ten people who died watching their dog dial the wrong number.

The dumbest I ever felt was after carrying a couch up two flights of stairs, only to learn there was an elevator after meeting my first neighbor. Dying on the kitchen floor while your dog scrambles to find the cordless might be the only experience more disapointing: