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In format, Month – Day – Year

 
Thanks to every one who wished me a happy birthday yesterday- my Earth Birthday, as we called it on the Visitors Locker Room. As some of you noticed, these birthday wishes occurred on the wrong day last year: October 10th- my Facebook birthday. You see, I specified the wrong date of birth, when creating my Facebook profile over two years ago and –until correcting the error last week– I received birthday wishes on the wrong day. As it turns out (because I am such an idiot with dates), I have MySpace and youtube birthday as well (October 12th and 9th, respectively … …in fact, I’m not even born on the right year on youtube).

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There is a famous adage: “history is written by the victors”. They were talking about armies when they said that of course, but it is still true today- except the victors are now google and wikipedia. Anything put on to the Internet will, if returned by google as the first result, become a fact within two years- it doesn’t matter how error-filled it is.

How do I know this is true: because my Facebook Birthday was not corrected to my Earth Birthday until last week, when my wife over-heard me telling some one I was born on October 10th and responded, “no, honey- you were born on October 5th”. In other words, the facts of your own birthday become blurred, when the Internet tells you some thing else.

My wife, of course, says, “No, this can only happen to you- no one else is this stupid with dates”. But I disagree.   I believe, I am actually the first modern man. The first person to so throughly outsource his memory to computers (the victors), that he trusts them for his own birthday above all intuition and experience. I have put them in charge of managing my facts, and I question nothing. In doing so, I am at least a generation ahead of my time.

(NOTE: final statement presumes I was born in 1947, which I’m not positive is true)

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4 Responses

  1. James Fritz Says:

    Sorry I missed it, but I’d been wrong before. I think Oct. 12th burned me. Happy Birth Day.

  2. Jodi Evanston Says:

    In honor of your naissance flub, I think I’m gonna start calling you Alan Turing. You know, since we talk constantly.

  3. Mike Olson Says:

    the main thing it you were born, the rest is cake and candles

  4. Sam Fels Says:

    “I am the first modern man”. I think we’ve all been saying this for years. The hidden genius in that statement is really stupefying.



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