Exchange #312 on Penises


Colin: Dad, these vitamins are working. My penis is getting huge.

Me: That’s good, but we don’t talk about penises at the dinner table.

Colin: Dad, your penis… it’s just old.

(he was shaking his head ‘no’, as if he felt sorry for me, when said that last part).



You could likely automate being a dad of two young boys, much the way they automated call centers, as you really only need to record a single sentence with slight variations:
We don’t talk about  SUBJECT  at  PLACE.“.

Where SUBJECT   is “poop”, “penises” or “buts” and PLACE   is “dinner table”, “church” or “grandma’s”.

That sentence accounts for 90% of my utterances to Colin.