Alternate Yous

Mark Wahlberg told Mens Journal that he was scheduled to be on one of the hijacked planes on September 11th, adding

“If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did — there would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, ‘OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry,'”

Wahlberg also revealed that he has “probably had over 50 dreams about it” (being on the plane).

I, like Wahlberg, like to think about possible universes, including the one where he stepped on that plane. …and, as though that day couldn’t be anymore surreal…

“Hey man, did you hear- we’re under attack!”

“What?”

“Yeah, terrorists took over planes! They crashed one into the Pentagon and another into the World Trade Center”

“Jesus.”

“Yeah.. they would have crashed a second plane into the other tower, but Mark Wahlberg was on it and killed each terrorist with his bare hands”

“WHAT?!!”

IMPORTANT: in this alternate universe –as I picture it– Wahlberg never became the successful actor we presently know. He hasn’t been heard from since The Funky Bunch.

“The dude from the 90s?”

“Yeah, the guy who sang ‘Good Vibrations’. He just killed 10 terrorists and landed a plane… You’ll never forget where you were, when you heard this news, aye pal?”