Sean Flannery » ungoogleable

Castaways

Sean Flannery — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 17:26:06 +0000

Creationists have answered the dinosaur question well enough: they were too big to fit on Noah’s boat. The real question is: skunks and termites. A pair skunks would have caused a full scale, zoo-riot on that boat. And termites- I mean, it was made out of wood, right?

Prompt

Sean Flannery — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 16:01:30 +0000

The Catholic Church ruled the Middle Ages, mostly… because they were the only people in town with a clock.

Sweating

Sean Flannery — Sun, 05 Jun 2011 01:22:46 +0000

Sammy Sosa burned 700 calories per swing

Technology

Sean Flannery — Wed, 18 May 2011 17:35:13 +0000

The first theater that showed a “talkie” was ripped apart, after the audience thought it was haunted.

Too Good

Sean Flannery — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 02:39:02 +0000

The greatest band of all time recorded exactly one song, which was so good, the music industry forced them to breakup. They were a band for exactly 45 minutes.

Flippers

Sean Flannery — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 17:05:33 +0000

Whales evolved from deer.

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In fact, I’m pretty sure it happened overnight, at least when you consider the timescale of a planet.

If you were to put two deer in the ocean, Ron, their grandchildren would be whales. That is a pure, scientfic fact.

Honest Abe

Sean Flannery — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 18:00:11 +0000

Screw Emmanuel. I only vote for ugly candidates.

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Well, see Franz, ‘the game’ is always a year ahead of us. Not the two parties, of course, but the bankers and grubstakers that truly run this country. No matter what we want –a war hero, a reformer, a charmer– they will see it before even you do and have a matching candidate, waiting and ready to sell you out.

But there is a kind of person they will never anticipate you wanting; a kind of a person that is invisible to them: the unsightly.

Always vote for the ugly guy, Franz. He’s on your side.

A Giant Flat Disc

Sean Flannery — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 14:48:51 +0000

There has never been a human who believed the Earth was flat. The ancients –perhaps even the cavemen—knew the Earth was spherical; they only sucked at drawing it.

Myth

Sean Flannery — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 20:12:24 +0000

I don’t believe, for a moment, that many people watched “MASH”.

Have you ever met a Nielsen Family, Kyle? Have you even met some one, who’s met some one from a Nielsen Family? Of course not- they don’t exist.

I have a friend, who knows a guy, who was indicted on racketeering charges. In other words, the mafia, in real life, is easier to find to find than a Neilsen Family.

Medusa

Sean Flannery — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 04:58:52 +0000

There is a pepper in India so hot, the very act of spotting it would kill you.